i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
So here I am, sexting at work.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
