i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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