didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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