I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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