He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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