I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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