I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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