If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
