I cockslap morals
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize