so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
