put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
