Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
look no pants
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
