yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
