My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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