im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
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When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
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I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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