is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
