Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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