I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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