She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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