mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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