"it" just moved
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
