"it" just moved
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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