you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I had to cum in my sink.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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