party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
