I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
