1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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