Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Bring me that man meat
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
