i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I can't turn off my feet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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