Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
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I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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