get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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