His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
