Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
