i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
