she peed on how many people?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
