my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
dude i'm inner monologue high
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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