Im at strip club and am horny
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
