Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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