Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
