Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.