yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
