ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
