I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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