It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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