it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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