you traded sex for a burrito?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
