Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
