I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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