This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
