How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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