I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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