I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
