My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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