help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
