You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
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